You have to hand it over to the people who appear on real estate shows: they have vision. Not many people would see a dilapidated slaughterhouse, with its meat hooks and carcass hoists still in situ, and think, “Wouldn’t this be a lovely family kitchen with all the mod cons!” But Paul and Imogen could, that’s why we kept an eye on them George Clarke’s Notable Renovations (Channel 4).
The slaughterhouse was attached to a former pub, blacksmith shop, butcher and bakery in Framlingham, Suffolk. Some rooms had no floors and walls, but Paul and Imogen were undaunted. Paul was a construction project manager alongside his daily job as a pig farmer. “I’m curious how much time they have planned for the renovation,” Clarke said. Doesn’t matter, we’re curious how much they’re going to spend. The answer was £200,000, on top of the £370,000 purchase price, which seemed almost modest when you saw the work.
Now if this was Grand designs, Paul would be an egomaniac and Imogen would fantasize about divorce and wonder why she hadn’t married her last boyfriend instead. But Remarkable Renovations doesn’t seem to attract couples on the brink. At times Clarke seemed almost frustrated with how calm they were about things.
“You’ve got your work cut out, you know you’ve got,” Clarke said. “We’ll get there,” Paul replied without breaking a sweat. “You said you’re going to live in 10 days – how?” Clarke asked, inspecting a room that, to be fair, still looked like a construction site. ‘A little fantasy,’ smiled Paul. At one point he said to Clarke, “What’s the use worrying? It’s a waste of energy.”
If this program has no tendency to act in catastrophesthe renovations aren’t exciting to watch which means Clarke has to divert attention by showing us other people’s houses or explain how things are made (here a visit to a limestone quarry in Rutland). The bit we’re really waiting for is the big reveal.
And the result was fantastic, a mix of modern and traditional with even a secret door in the library to access the teenage den (although I’m not sure about the curved steel and glass extension, which looked a bit like the entrance to a travel lodge). Imogen admitted it had been a little stressful at times. But not Paul. “I loved doing it,” he said. Maybe he could set up a side business that advises Grand Designs backers how to chill out without throwing their money down a well.