little quirk of mine is that I’ve always loved vacation holiday resorts. Something for everyone, all in one place. We all share the same focus: having fun and having fun.
I know they are not considered posh, and it is much more glamorous to rent a villa with friends. But I don’t like going on holiday with other people, that’s too irritating. Nothing makes me happier than a hotel. And a holiday park? Best of all. I love them for their pure unadulterated holiday-themed escapism. I get enough out of my daily walk on the A40 to North Acton tube station; the last thing I want is for it to spill over into my vacation too.
Forte Village, just a 40 minute drive from Sardinia’s picturesque (and in my opinion highly underrated) capital, Cagliari, is everything a resort should be. Excellent facilities, incredible restaurants and a perfect setting on an acre of pristine coastline.
Think of the cerulean sea glistening in the sun, palm fronds swaying gently in the breeze. Uniformed people tending to immaculate pools. Delicious Italian food everywhere, of course. A tiki bar selling deliciously strong, euphoric cocktails on bar stools a few inches from the sea. Everything perfect and glamorous and still like the opening scenes of a Bret Easton Ellis novel. All this plus the most incredible spa filled with six medicinal thalassotherapy pools, a fencing center, boxing, table tennis, diving, an Olympic-sized outdoor pool…. Like I said, something for everyone. The resort has more than 700 rooms and includes eight separate hotels, 13 villas and 40 super chic suites, all spread over more than 120 acres of oceanfront and camouflaged by more than 3,000 species of plants. It’s big – there are about 1,100 employees in high season, including 80 gardeners, but it feels extremely quiet and peaceful.
Did I mention how many kids love it there? My 10 year old jumped out of bed every morning to go to the football club run by Real Madrid coaches and had to be kicked out at 10pm. My three year old loved the kids club and the little toy train they take around the property every day. There is a host of family-friendly fun restaurants from Brazilian to Sardinian to one of the finest glass-fronted seafood restaurants by the sea. Every night there was live music and dancing in the square.
Most importantly, after a week in Forte Village, I felt years younger and completely refreshed. Maybe it was just the sheer escapism of it all. But even with Easyjet horror on both sides of the journey, I was able to completely rejuvenate myself in the perfect idyll.
Even if the person you think you are hates resorts, you will love it there, I promise.
fortress village, Sardiniafrom £573 per night for a family of four on half board, excluding drinks (fortevillageresort.com)