Ese Walter reveals she gave up on her birth family, shares how she’s felt since she made the decision, #Ese #Walter #reveals #birth #family #speaks #felt #decision Welcome to OLASMEDIA TV NEWSThis is what we have for you today:
Writer Ese Walter has revealed that she has given up on her birth family.
In a post shared on social media, Ese, who hit the headlines in 2013 after revealing she was having an affair with COZA pastor, Biodun Fatoyin, said she gave up on her family after they repeatedly offered her financial support. just because she made their offer. † She pointed out that she went back to her marriage to her ex-husband, Benny Ark a few times, even if it wasn’t convenient because of the support her family gave her as a stay-at-home mom.
She stated that they would no longer support her if she did not honor their bids. Ese said five weeks ago that she decided to bond with them and live her life without their help. In her post, she shared what life has been like since she made the decision.
“In 2016 I gave up religion.
Six years later, it’s the best decision I’ve made, not just for myself but for Boobbabies as well. The open-mindedness they develop helps them get along with everyone, regardless of their religious affiliation.
About 5 weeks ago I gave up my biological family. This decision wasn’t a hard one, as I’ve spent years trying to distance myself from my biological family, but I kept going back because of greed.
Or maybe not greed, but what I considered support.
I was able to function as a stay at home mom because my biological family supported me financially. The support also came partly out of shame. Too bad this coza scandal kid ended up being coveted by a man, so let’s support financially so the man can see the benefits of marrying her. ptttf
With no job, useful skills, or time to develop both, I plunged into marriage, had children, and couldn’t bring myself to leave them long enough to pursue a career. I decided to stay at home full time and experience how they develop.
Unhappy with the whole arrangement, I felt I couldn’t leave. Whenever I did, the financial support was cut off until I returned to the situation ship. It took me a while to understand this dynamic.
If I didn’t do what Mother wanted, I was cut off. I thought it was my mind because I often felt that my perception was wrong. I experienced things a little differently (Story for another post)
On November 2, 2021 I left my burgeoning family, my 6 and 4 year olds and moved to Lagos with my 10 month old. I was broke, mentally tired and scared. Afraid because I KNEW I wouldn’t get support. I knew I would be left to myself until I returned to the situation ship. I knew they would say ‘Ese don start again…’ and ignore anything I felt/think.
I then made the decision that I would do everything I could to find my way. I came here to ask for help renting a place for my 10 month old kid and I. Offline friends gathered to support me. This was when I began to realize that my clinging to my biological family might be doing more harm than good. Mother convinced everyone that I (so my whole being) was wrong. So other than Mommy approves, no one can support me. Reasonable.
I was able to get help both online and offline, get a place for myself and focus on starting over.
Four months later, Boobman called me in an emergency. I went to Abuja to ‘steal’ him and his sister. It was going well until I started having heart palpitations, anxiety, and regrets about having children.
Tired of trying to cope with what my family wanted, I cut myself off because I never really felt like I belonged. I was absolutely not accepted as I was. I had to change, follow the rules, stop “overreacting” to things that hurt me.
I found that by following my own guidance, I had less anxiety, fewer palpitations, and less fear of wondering when the support would end.
Since cutting myself off, I’ve learned a few things about having a plan for one’s life, agency, mental health challenges, and accepting help. I’ll be expanding this on several posts over the course of this week (or maybe today because it’s another rainy day, stay in bed)
Have we suffered? Yes.
Did we get help? sure.
Have I thought about stopping myself and my Boobbies? Yes and, yes.
But I’m still here and accepting that this is real life.
Beld told me something yesterday that made me share it here today.
She said, ‘You add value when you share these aspects of yourself, don’t hide when things are painful. Share it all and get through as you always do. You don’t know who’s helping you.’
In that regard, I have returned here and will not hide my shame, fears, or vulnerabilities. Nor will I hide my strength, will and sheer determination to keep moving forward.
I find that I always have what I need. Instead of the ones I once called family, I’ve embraced those who support me no matter what. (Support doesn’t mean they like everything I do or sometimes don’t call me, support means they let me know I’m safe even when I’m *up)
This idea of feeling safe is new and I’m learning it all over again.
I saw a message in my inbox from a woman who left her marriage to her children and had to go back because, in her words, “she didn’t want her children to suffer.” I get it. I have left and returned twice before so that my stay at home mother life could be supported by my family. I didn’t want to suffer.
The past 7 months have shown me what I was afraid of. We have suffered BUT we have had many joys, deep belly laughter and a few strange days. I am also learning what family means.
There are many women who stay in situations because of that fear of suffering. I ask you to consider this: if we are not suffering, what is the value of enjoyment? I find that challenges are the best way to let go of aspects of yourself that you are not aware of.
There are no errors. Everything happens as it should.
I won’t run away to share again.
For those who were concerned about me based on my latest messages about my WhatsApp status, don’t worry anymore. I’m alright. In fact, better than I’ve been in a very, very long time. Sometimes a breakthrough is needed to achieve a breakthrough.
Good rainy afternoon from here my peoples”