Feminist author Emily Writes on parenting says she’ll never be able to buy a house, not on a writer’s income, but she’s thankful she has housing nonetheless. Writes, 38, lives in Wellington with her husband and two children, Ronnie, 7, and Eddie, 9.
EMILY WRITES: I am a real homebody. I do everything from home. I’ve always done most of my writing in bed at night. My first book was written in the notes app on my phone in bed.
My husband went out of his way to set up a desk for me because he always worries about my back. But the desk ends up under the laundry and I never used it.
My youngest still sleeps with me. So as soon as he sleeps next to me, I turn on the light, pull up the laptop and start writing.
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My third book is finished and will be out in August. It’s called Need Adult Supervision. My kids think it’s really funny because on the cover it says Emily Writes Needs Adult Supervision.
I’m glad it gets their seal of approval.
MONIQUE FORD/Things
The upstairs reading corner is where the kids “pop to read books and play with toys in the sun,” Writes says.
My husband is a teacher, so he is at school with the boys every day. They’re lucky he’s here.
He became a teacher because both boys have disabilities: Eddie has type 1 diabetes and Ronnie is neurodivergent.
When Eddie was born he was very ill and my husband realized he had this special ability to work with disabled children so he changed careers to do that. He had been a gardener and a greenkeeper.
Yes, the pay is terrible, but it’s important work and he’s so good at it.
MONIQUE FORD/Things
Twinkle Princess is a rescue greyhound who has been in the family for four years. “Everyone baby her and she can do whatever she wants,” Writes says. “She’s very lazy and doesn’t like to be walked.”
We just love it here in Wellington. We have housing stability, even though we don’t own a house. It is owned by a family member so we are lucky to be able to rent from them.
We always have neighborhood kids here playing, climbing over everything. We have a couch that’s falling apart, but we love it because we don’t have to say, “Get off the couch.”
My husband and I have been together for 20 years. We met when we were teenagers in The Realm, this dingy pub in Hataitai. I was 17, so I snuck in.
MONIQUE FORD/Things
Ronnie’s room contains all the things he loves, and he has a special affinity for flags and geography.
I’d seen him out the window when I was on the bus, and I thought, “Wow, that guy is handsome.”
Two weeks later I moved in with him and his mother. And shortly after that we left her. He’s just my person.
The new book has more personal essays. It’s about growing up with your kids, for those of us waiting to feel like adults.
MONIQUE FORD/Things
The memorabilia wall in Writes’ bedroom makes her feel grounded while writing. “There are people who are mean on the internet, so I like to look up and be reminded that I have friends who like me.”
Once your kids are of school age, and you’re back at work, and you have hours in the day that you’re not taking care of them, you start looking back and thinking, “All those things that I thought were were important were not.”
Like if they sleep through the night. And I was obsessed with not being able to breastfeed. I thought my kids wouldn’t be able to see that I was their mother if I didn’t breastfeed.
I’ve always felt that parents, especially moms, are under so much pressure to be perfect.
We went through some rough times when Eddie was diagnosed with type 1. You realize what really matters to you.
MONIQUE FORD/Things
Writes likes to collect earrings. Her friends helped her “Marie Kondo” her room, making the jewelry more visible and accessible, which she said was a “game changer.”
Ronnie was three weeks old when I started writing Rants in the Dark. He wants to be a writer, so he sits next to me with his pen and paper while I write.
He has a large collection of stories that he wants to publish. He relies heavily on favoritism, but I try to tell him I don’t have that much influence over Penguin Random House.
Eddie has been unwell for most of his life. He had problems with his windpipe and had to have surgery shortly after his birth and is still having surgery. And then, two years ago, he was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.
MONIQUE FORD/Things
The plants behind the tub are fake – writes that her husband “refuses to garden” since he gave it up as a career, and that she “cannot keep plants alive at all”.
We moved here when he was three months old. It is dry and warm, has a heat pump. And it’s sunny.
We will never be able to buy a house, not as a teacher and a writer. With the housing crisis, I am incredibly lucky with housing stability. We see the pain in our community.
The pandemic has been very tough as Eddie has compromised his immune system.
I think if I could tour I could make money, but I can’t put Eddie at risk. Last year I was able to do 22 shows during that period where we didn’t have Covid.
TOM LEE/STUFF
Father of three Dean Wharewera recently spent 12 weeks at home on parental leave, and would highly recommend.
We raised $20,000 for charities that I was happy about. If you have a platform, you have a responsibility.
I don’t know when I can tour again: either when we get Covid or when the pandemic is over. We’re still in hiding, we don’t go out much.
*Emily Writes’ third book, Needs Adult Supervision published by Penguin Random Housewill be released on August 30.