I thought I escaped my cheating ex – but I’m pregnant with his baby

DEAR DEIDRE: JUST when I thought I had finally erased all traces of my deceptive ex from my life, I found out I was pregnant with his baby.

I decided to keep the child, but I do not want him back, or that he has anything to do with the baby.

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Getting pregnant was a bit of a miracle for me. I’m 40 and thought it’s too late to have kids.

I just wish the father was not the lying, unfaithful man who broke my heart repeatedly.

We were together for three years. I broke up with him two months ago when I discovered he was sleeping with two women at work.

It was the last straw. I had caught him out twice before and got messages and other evidence that he was on dating sites.

He’s 43 and promised he loves me, but I think he’s not capable of telling the truth. He was soon back to his old tricks.

And a few days after we broke up, he started seeing another woman – which shows how much I meant to him.

So I blocked him on social media and on my phone, and deleted all my photos of him.

But two weeks after I threw him out, I started to feel nauseous.

We always used condoms, but I took a pregnancy test just to be sure. To my surprise, it was positive.

I can not wait to be a mom, but I have a horrible pregnancy, with terrible illness. However, I am determined to do it alone.

He does not even know I’m pregnant. Should I tell him?

I’m worried that someone else might. I think he will be a useless father because he is selfish and a pathological liar.

My baby would be much better off without him.

DEIDRE SAYS: There is no legal requirement to tell your ex that you are pregnant. But if you have his baby, he has an obligation to maintain it.

If you think you can cope as a single parent and you do not need his financial support, you can say nothing.

However, be aware that your child may have questions about his or her father and may want to meet him or her. If your ex does not know they exist, it can cause problems.

It is possible that your child may blame you for keeping their father out of their lives. Think about how you would feel in this situation and what you would tell your child.

Maybe when you feel less raw and angry about the way he treated you, you might feel different.

You do need support – from family, friends and your medical team. It may be helpful to talk to Gingerbread (gingerbread.org.uk, helpline 0808 802 0925), who supports single parents.