Were this a normal July, I would probably not be writing about shorts. I’m just not a shorts fan — unless you’re on holiday and they’re denim cut-offs — but even then.
Once you’re over 50, shorts take first prize for the fashion item that can easily make you look like a lady golfer, Scout mistress, or just bigger bottomed and older than you really are. Still, even I have to concede that with a Tarmac-melting summer stretching sizzling before us, we need choices.
My shorts aversion dates back to the mid-1980s. I worked front of house in a Fifth Avenue ‘couturier’ over one sweltering summer and, every day, I was obliged to wear one of two tailored shorts suits — one navy with a white collar and one pale blue with pearl buttons.
At the time, I felt like Little Lord Fauntleroy. But on reflection I was always cool, even on the subway, and now that I think about it, the shorts themselves were not the problem.
Shane Watson says high-waisted shorts with wide or flared legs are more elegant. Pictured: Vogue Williams
They were body-skimming, A-line, not cargo-y; they did not have turn-ups or patch pockets (the downfall of many a pair of shorts); and they finished on the knee (knee-revealing tailored shorts are not flattering on me).
Worn with a half-tucked-in billowing cotton shirt (instead of a short bum-freezer jacket), and chunky strappy sandals (rather than nude ballet pumps), they’d look breezy and fresh and smartish, which is something we’re all discovering is not easy to achieve in Saharan temperatures.
There is also, undeniably, something much more summer-in-the-city appropriate about a well-cut pair of shorts than a skirt.
In hot weather, loose shorts let air circulate around your legs and protect you from the rising heat of the pavements and the sticky grit of traffic.
The proportions of this workwear/everyday short are super important, of course.
High-waisted cuts with wide or slightly flared legs are more elegant, not to mention better in the heat. And, as for length, short shorts only look good on women with slim long legs and rarely on anyone old enough to have danced to My Coo Ca Choo in hot pants.
If you do fancy revealing your legs, I suggest you head straight to Mango and get yourself a pair of their suit-style cream shorts (£17.99, shop.mango.com). I also like M&S Collection’s midnight navy shorts with gold buttons on the side pockets (£29.50, marksandspencer.com).
But I’m a realist. A couple of inches above the knee or knee-covering is about right for most of us.
For shorts that are not unlike my New York smarties, try Joseph. They have a sky-blue pair in the sale (£110, joseph-fashion.com) that are knee-covering, A-line cut and make you feel cooler just looking at them. Benetton does something similarly wide-leg and linen with an elasticated back and permanent cuffs (not the same as turn-ups) in every colour including black.
She says that well cut pair of shorts can be summer-in-the-city appropriate. Pictured: A model wears long shorts at the Tom Ford Ready To Wear Fashion Show
Boden also does a good navy linen short, a couple of inches above the knee with a wide two-button waistband (£60, boden.co.uk).
Linen is at the pricier end of the scale and man-made fabrics are perfectly manageable in hot weather so long as they are not clinging.
If you like something a bit narrower, Marks & Spencer has a pair that fall just above the knee, with front pleats, in bright fuchsia (£29.50) which have a matching jacket that could be useful when the temperature eases off.
This year brands insist on calling these styles Bermuda shorts. I think of Bermudas as arrow straight and almost fitted on the leg, whereas these are looser and more forgiving, but either way there are plenty of these wider, straight shorts around.
La Redoute does a good-looking, long, black pair (£15.40, laredoute.co.uk). Side pockets and a mid-rise-to-high waist, both of which these have, give shorts a slouchy, boyish, breezy look which is what we’re aiming for.
H&M has a knee-skimming pair in white (£17.99, hm.com), although be careful with white shorts — they look best on the beach or tennis court and never pair them with white on top or you’ll look like yacht crew.
By the way, Loro Piana does some eye wateringly expensive linen shorts (£740.13, net-a-porter.com) that look desirable, largely because of the striped grosgrain ribbon belt, which would be all too easy to copy — just Google vvrouleaux.com. Stay cool.