Having no intimacy with my wife is making me feel so ugly – we sleep in separate rooms

DEAR DEIDRE: I FEEL less lonely lying in bed in the spare room than I do when sharing a bed with my wife.

I am 51 and my wife is 49.

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We originally got together in our 20s but drifted apart.

Then we reconnected eight years ago at a mutual friend’s wedding.

My wife is my soulmate and we soon realised that we were meant to be together and got married.

I love her so much, but there is no intimacy.

We do get on well, but just can’t seem to connect in a physical way.

We’ve been like this for two years.

We now sleep in separate rooms.

Her mum is ill with dementia and her dad isn’t coping well, so I try not to push the issue too much, but I am struggling badly.

It seems that any stress in life pushes us further apart instead of closer.

I have never felt so unwanted and unattractive than I do right now.

DEIDRE SAYS: With her parents’ failing health and depression, your wife has plenty to be worried about – and stress can knock sex drive.

That said, it is unrealistic for your wife to think your marriage can survive without sex.

Or is the sex not so great for her?

Tell your wife you want your marriage to work and that means both of you showing one another loving affection.

Kissing and cuddling with no pressure to have sex will revive the intimacy between you.

My support pack Saving Your Sex Life will help.