With the wedding season in full swing, it is likely that you have witnessed a large number of speeches; the good the bad and the ugly.
It’s a difficult balance between funny and sincere, and a poorly reviewed joke or anecdote can leave a bad impression on guests.
All that pressure leads some people to reach out to the professionals and get a helping hand to put together the perfect moment.
Lawrence Bernstein, from Thame, Oxfordshire, is a speechwriter for Great voice writingusing his skills for everything from weddings to TED Talks with political speeches.
During the wedding season, they get about a dozen requests a day from best men, fathers of brides and all sorts of people who want to capture the big moment. With Covid causing a wedding backlog, the business is busier than ever.
If anyone knows what makes a great speech, it’s someone who can make a living from it, so we asked Lawrence to share his tips.
From how to improve your public speaking to the topics best to avoid, you’ll be amazed when you raise a toast.
Setting the tone
Lawrence says the best way to start a speech is to figure out how it will be remembered later.
He tells Metro.co.uk: ‘Ask a very simple question: how would you like your guests to describe your speech the morning after the wedding?
‘Work back from there. Some will say fun and lighthearted, others emotional and genuine, some want something with a very specific theme.’
Start strong
The opening line can make or break a wedding speech, but Lawrence strongly advises against copying a generic opener from Google.
“Try to find a theme to tie everything together,” he says. “Once you’ve done that, everything should fall into place, including where to start.”
He continues, “If you’re stuck, linking to the couple, venue, or guests will make sure everyone knows this is an original speech with no ‘cut and paste’.”
Don’t make a list
It can be tempting to prepare with bullet points, but then you risk sounding robotic or insincere.
Lawrence says, “There’s nothing worse than a speech that sounds like a school registry; that gives a mention to every friend, relationship and pet in their lives, with no real theme or bigger picture to bring it to life.”
Try not to wander
Another big no-no, according to Lawrence, is when a speech has “little structure, no theme, and a lot of yawning.”
He adds, “It starts off slow and slows down. Guests with a bet on how long the speech will last are the only ones smiling. The story of his daughter’s birth seemed like a lot of fun, until you realized that that’s how he would approach every milestone in her life so far.”
Lose the shock factor
If you want to impress, it can be tempting to get carried away by inside jokes or risqué stories from your time with the bride or groom.
This is typical of what Lawrence sees from a witness who “forget that the majority of the public is middle-aged and enjoy the biggest social event of their generation.”
He adds, “Ignore the temptation to mention ex-partners, drugs, sex, fighting, or rehab!”
Try flash cards
Lawrence does not recommend memorizing your speech as it can cause undue stress and affect your speech.
“Yeah, Ian McKellan memorizes hours of Shakespeare, but that’s his job,” he says. “Giving a wedding speech should be fun and you put unnecessary pressure on yourself by memorizing it.”
His team creates handy A6 flashcards for their customers that look more professional than a shaky piece of paper and give you directions along the way.
Use the power of the break
“You may have a brilliant speech, but it’s no use if you spoke so fast that no one heard it,” Lawrence says.
‘The same can be said of your tone of voice. If you tend to speak monotonously, try humming it through, or record yourself speaking it to identify certain robotic moments.”
Keep it personal
If you’re looking for a surefire way to deliver a successful speech, make sure it’s right for the couple and the occasion.
Lawrence says, “It’s always good to bring it all together with a theme that’s relevant to the newlyweds.
“We’ve had brides and grooms meet multiple times as acquaintances on ABBA-themed nights for over a decade, but it took another five years for them to get together! Or maybe the bride is really sloppy and the groom is Mr. Marie Kondo!
“Make it personal, make it relevant, make it spicy and you won’t fail to impress.”
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