Asking a Friend: How Can I Cope With the Emotional Cost of Debt?

Asking a Friend: How Can I Cope With the Emotional Cost of Debt?

Caption: Asking a Friend: How to Deal with the Emotional Cost of Debt

Ask for a friend is the series where we answer the questions you’ve always wanted to ask.

Today we are talking about debt.

In the year from January 2021, the average amount of personal debt in the UK was: increased by £1,176.40 per household.

utilities, fuel poverty is widespread, use of food bank is increasing and the cost of living is skyrocketing

Unsurprisingly, this has serious implications for people’s mental health.

Charity Statistics Mental health problems show that a third of people referred to the Together In A Crisis service in 2022 were for general financial advice, and 14% of those concerned about debt. The figures for the past 12 months are comparable.

In addition, leading charity StepChange noted that as of 2021, 39% of all new customers had a mental illness.

Debt can have a huge impact on mental health (Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

“Mental health problems can be both a cause and a consequence of problematic debt,” Sue Anderson, head of media at StepChange, told Metro.co.uk.

“Having debt can have a serious impact on a person’s life, in addition to the financial implications, and can increase the risk of experiencing problems such as stress, anxiety or depression.”

At the same time, she adds, “people with mental health problems may have a harder time managing their financial affairs.”

Why does debt take such a toll on your mental health?

The problem with being in debt is that it’s taboo, so people don’t feel encouraged to be open about it.

‘When the debt becomes too great, people often feel guilt and shame and therefore feel in the dark’, mortgage broker and therapist Gemma Bennett tell us.

“Guilt and shame are some of the hardest emotions to process, they create so much resistance and stress in our bodies.”

Another reason debt puts a strain on people’s mental health is that it threatens our basic needs.

“Ultimately, food and shelter are basic human needs, so if someone feels like they’re going to struggle to make ends meet, that can feel a real threat to their very survival,” says Dr Elena Touroni, a psychologist and co-consultant. founder of The Chelsea Psychology Clinic.

How to deal with the emotional costs of debt?

Debt can be overwhelming (Credits: Getty Images/fStop)

Take ownership

When we get overwhelmed, ignoring a problem always feels easier than facing it.

But, Gemma says, “Denying the situation or keeping it in the dark only exacerbates the shadowy feelings and the assumption that you’re out of control.”

She says it’s important to get the exact numbers very clear and “bring it to light.”

“Swallow the truth, be brave and know what you’re doing,” she adds.

It’s also a good idea to talk to your loved ones.

“Be open and talk about it with the people closest to you,” says Dr. Elena. ‘Maybe they can also be a sounding board for solving problems.’

forgive yourself

It’s important to forgive yourself – this happens, and you’re not the only person struggling, even if it feels that way.

“Beating yourself up emotionally because it’s not going to help, just learning your lessons and moving forward by taking control will help,” says Gemma.

“Quickly recognize that the choices you made to get there are now new choices and forgive your ever-evolving self.”

Make a plan

Making a plan is vital for you to regain control of your situation.

“This probably requires a disciplined long-term plan with a monthly budget to pay off the debt and no more spending,” Gemma says.

“As unappealing as that may seem, the sense of empowerment and proactiveness is actually hugely rewarding.”

You can get help with this by contacting a charitable organization such as StepChange, who can help you resolve financial concerns.

dr. However, Elena emphasizes that it is important to look at things day by day.

“Don’t try to predict the future or consider the most negative outcome,” she says. “Put your focus on what you can control now.”


Some Free Debt Advice Services You Can Use When You’re Struggling

Step Change Charity Debt: Having a team of debt experts who help thousands of people each week deal with their debt problems and get their lives back on track.

Payment plan: Offer free debt assistance and advice, with solutions including free debt management plans.

Citizens Advice Bureau: Can help determine how much money you owe and which debts you need to pay back first.

Ask for help

Finally, if you are struggling with your mental health, get in touch.

“The sooner you get the right support, the better your chances of a speedy recovery,” says Dr. Elena.

While therapy can be inaccessible, there are charities such as Mental Health Concern and mind who can help.

You can also try accessing digital therapy through the: Improving access to psychological therapies (IAPT) maintenance.

Do you have a story to share?

Contact us by email [email protected].

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