Walk in another person’s shoes and then reflect
As machines become increasingly accurate and intelligent, our people will need to sharpen our leadership skills so that we can lead and thrive in 2030 and beyond. One of your primary responsibilities as a Learning and Development Leader is to ensure that you empower the workforce to develop the four sets of skills that are critical to thriving in 2030. I have compiled a series of articles titled “eLearning Skills 2030” to explore all the skills to help you make your career future-proof and your job easier. This article examines the practice of empathy, why it is critical and how to sharpen it.
What is the practice of empathy?
According to the Cambridge Dictionary, empathy is “the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by thinking about what it’s like to be in that person’s situation.” [1]. This video from IDEO, the leading design thinking organization, describes empathy as walking in another person’s shoes and trying to see, hear and feel what that person sees, hears and feels. Empathy is a skill that many leaders have traditionally ignored as being too “soft”. However, the COVID-19 pandemic and its unprecedented impact on all aspects of our lives have created shared experiences that all of us can relate to. As a result, leaders ‘and organizations’ sensitivity and understanding of empathy as a critical leadership value has increased significantly. Being empathetic can help you as a leader to better understand your team members and make work more enjoyable and productive for all.
Why is empathy important?
According to a survey conducted by the Society of Human Resource Management (SHRM), nine out of ten respondents believe that empathy is essential for a robust organizational culture [2]. The same survey revealed that 88% of respondents believe that empathic managers are better and more reliable supervisors. Empathy has been a cornerstone in design thinking and understanding of the user experience, which is critical in the development and delivery of any product or service. Tracy Bower writes in Forbes that empathy is here to stay, and it will shape the future [3].
How can you exercise empathy?
Empathy is about connecting more authentically. In her Harvard Business Review article [4], Annie McKee notes that practicing empathy is quite difficult and requires knowing yourself and managing yourself as well as being patient and purposeful in your practice. Furthermore, Claire Cain Miller gives several tips to be more empathetic, including talking to new people, walking in someone else’s shoes for a day, checking your prejudices, and reading more.
Talk to new people
Reach out to people in your organization that you have not met before. Set up an online or in-person short meeting, and over a coffee, ask them about their lives and then listen to them. You can also practice talking to strangers in the coffee shop, grocery store or on LinkedIn. Ask them how they feel about breaking the ice, and then follow up with an open, exploratory question in the line of what they are passionate about these days, and listen to their reaction. You can learn a lot about their lives and what is important to them. This more in-depth understanding of other people’s experiences can strengthen trust with colleagues and, even for a moment, deepen the sense of human connection with a stranger.
Walk in another person’s shoes for a day
Lead by example and ask to shadow a colleague from another team, a client or another stakeholder. Encourage your team members to do the same. Try to learn about them all day long by shadowing, observing, and engaging with them. You can also apply it outside of work, in your community or place of worship. Ask open-ended questions and listen. At the end of the day, think about the three things that surprised you the most, gather your three greatest teachings, and distill one thing you would do differently because of your shadow. After your reflection, share your thoughts with the person you shadowed and listen to their feedback and perspective. Try to shade at least one or two people each year to deepen your exercise.
Check your cognitive biases
As discussed in my related article in this series, cognitive biases are a type of mental disorder that can affect how we think and act. There are more than 188 cognitive biases under 20 different categories in four key areas: having too much information, not having enough meaning, having to act and remember quickly. These distorted ways of thinking are the result of our brain taking shortcuts to information processing, being emotionally or morally influenced, and susceptible to social influence and peer pressure. Understanding your prejudices will help you to be more empathetic towards others and make better decisions about how to have difficult conversations and manage conflict when it arises.
Read more
One of my favorite book genres is biographies and autobiographies, because it allows me to get into the protagonist’s life and thoughts, and helps me understand them better. Reading fiction can also be influential for similar reasons to boost your empathy. Research conducted by The New School has revealed that the study participants who read fiction scored better on empathy and emotional intelligence tests. Reading non-fiction is also a foundation for deepening your empathy because you can learn from history books, newspapers and academic articles. Reading can help expand your understanding of others’ feelings, experiences, behaviors, and decisions.
Closure
Practicing empathy is a great way to get involved and connect with others to honor and embrace our humanity. Like all e-learning skills in this series, practicing empathy requires deliberate effort and dedication to practice. As you consider the tips presented in this article, do not forget your responsibility to share them with your team so that they too can learn to empathize and become better leaders today, leading up to 2030 and beyond.
References:
[1] Cambridge Dictionary: Empathy
[2] SHRM Empathy Report
[3] Empathy is here to stay: 3 important reasons why it will shape the future
[4] If you can not empathize with your employees, you better learn it