Alan Shearer opens up about his father's death after battling cancer and still feels 'lost' as he pens emotional tribute – and admits working on Match of the Day will be 'tough' after iconic theme song was played at his funeral

Alan Shearer opens up about his father's death after battling cancer and still feels 'lost' as he pens emotional tribute – and admits working on Match of the Day will be 'tough' after iconic theme song was played at his funeral

Alan Scheerder has written a moving tribute to his late father, admitting he feels “lost” amid his grief.

His father, also named Alan, died earlier this year at the age of 80 after a relapse of cancer.

He was diagnosed in February, after having already beaten the disease at the age of 65.

Alan Sr chose the Match of the Day theme song to be played at the crematorium and Shearer describes carrying the coffin as 'the hardest thing I've ever done'.

Prior to his return to the TV screen with the show, Shearer wrote a column in The Athletics He explores his father's influence on his life and processes the emotional wounds left by his death.

Alan Shearer has written an emotional tribute to his father, who died after a battle with cancer

Alan Shearer has written an emotional tribute to his father, who died after a battle with cancer

He knows it will be 'really tough' to go on Match of the Day after the theme tune was played at his father's cremation

He knows it will be 'really tough' to go on Match of the Day after the theme tune was played at his father's cremation

“Without my dad here, a part of me feels lost and dislocated and I hope you can understand that. Without wanting to be too sentimental, you may think of him when the theme song for Match of the Day comes on this weekend. I know I will. And if it feels right and appropriate, think of your family too,” he wrote.

'I'm in the BBC studios in Salford this weekend and I honestly can't tell you what it's going to feel like when that famous song comes on, but I do know it's going to be tough — very tough.'

He tells how his father was stubborn until the end, constantly wanting to be taken out of bed and even showing him how to use the TV remote.

“He told us exactly what he wanted and he told us that when the time came he wanted to be home. And he was. We were all there with him and it was so peaceful. The pain was gone,” Shearer wrote.

'There were bright and dark moments along the way. We knew what was coming and one day when I was trying to relax for a few hours, I got a phone call from my mother: 'Dad wants you and Karen home now. He's ready to go.'

'He ended up holding on for another 27 or 28 hours, but on that last night he talked about his life, the people he'd had fights with and didn't like, and plans for his own funeral. He laughed and reminisced. The clarity was astonishing.'

Shearer remembers his father's humble background, who worked as a sheet metal worker in Cramlington, Northumberland.

He was married for 59 years and although he was not a great footballer himself, he always found energy when he went out to play football with his son on the street after work.

Shearer pays tribute to the sacrifices his father made to help him become a footballer

Shearer pays tribute to the sacrifices his father made to help him become a footballer

Shearer said: 'If my dad hadn't thrown a ball at my chubby legs I wouldn't have been Newcastle's number 9, driving away from the Gallowgate End with my right arm in the air'

Shearer said: 'If my dad hadn't thrown a ball at my chubby legs I wouldn't have been Newcastle's number 9, driving away from the Gallowgate End with my right arm in the air'

His father was so principled that he refused to attend matches organised by Shearer in protest against Mike Ashley's ownership

His father was so principled that he refused to attend matches organised by Shearer in protest against Mike Ashley's ownership

The legendary Newcastle striker describes how his parents became a 'taxi firm', taking him to and from Wallsend Boys Club several times a week to improve his skills.

Even when he could afford to provide for them, they continued to work (his father left the house at 7am), but he was still able to buy a house for his parents at the age of 25.

He was so stubborn that even when his son was appointed Newcastle manager in 2009, he refused to attend games in protest at Mike Ashley's ownership.

But his quiet love for his son was undeniable. After breaking Newcastle's goalscoring record in 2006, he 'broke the habit of a lifetime' by saying: 'Well done son, I'm proud of you.'

'He wasn't a poetic man, my dad – he was as down-to-earth as they come, a bloke's lad, a Geordie twat – but when I was a kid we'd sit around the telly as a family on Saturday nights and watch the football highlights. So how about that as a choker?' Shearer wrote.

'I reached the end of last season with the blinkers on. I appeared on Match of the Day a few times and slipped through, as I did with my work as a punditry officer at the European Championships, but the here and now feels different.

'If my dad hadn't thrown a ball at my fat legs, I wouldn't have been Newcastle's number 9, driving away from the Gallowgate End with my right arm in the air.

'Without my parents filling and emptying their penny bottles, I would never have had the boots to become a footballer. My life is his life, my mother's life, their sacrifice, their normality, our stubbornness, my dream, those things we wear, always on time, never late and our silent, unspoken pride in each other.'