How do I tell my brother that his tantrums scare me?

DEAR DEIDRE: HOW do I tell my brother that his tantrums are starting to scare me?

We’ve never been this close, even as children. We are two very different people.

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He’s 28, I’m 24, and over the past year I really feel like he’s come to hate me.

He constantly digs about my appearance, my job, and my plans for the future.

But are anger outbursts become a little too regular.

Small incidents can trigger him. For example, if I forget to vacuum the footwell of his car after borrowing it.

I’ve wondered if he’s like that because our dad always told him to “man up” and keep his emotions to himself.

He couldn’t cry.

DEIDRE SAYS: You might be right.

We learn our behavior from our parents so that your brother could imitate your father’s critical approach.

If he starts spiraling, calmly say you don’t feel like arguing and walk away. Hopefully he gets the message.

But also explain to him in a quiet moment that if he continues to behave like this, you may need to distance yourself from him.

I’m sending you my support package, Standing Up for Yourself, to help.