I have terminal cancer – how do I tell my two sons this Christmas will be my last?

DEAR DEIDRE: HOW do I tell my two sons that I am going to die? It’s a conversation I hoped I’d never have.

When I was diagnosed with stage three colon cancer in 2012, the doctor was sure I would survive.

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But the cancer turned out to be very aggressive.

We don’t know exactly how long I have left, but the doctor said this Christmas will probably be my last.

I am 64. My sons are 22 and 19.

They know I have cancer, but not that it is terminal.

They are good guys and come to visit every Saturday.

They live with my ex-wife and although I’m close with them now, they felt I let them down when I left ten years ago.

So how do I tell them I won’t be there to see them buy a house, get married, or have kids of their own?

I feel like I’m letting them down again.

DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry about your diagnosis.

You don’t abandon your children. You have no choice when it comes to your terminal diagnosis.

Your sons may have already guessed the situation. But you’re right to want to tell them.

This way you can all make the most of the time you still have together.

It will be a difficult conversation, but give them time to ask questions and don’t be afraid of silence. They may need time to process what you are saying.

For further advice and guidance, please contact the Macmillan Cancer Support Line (0808 808 0000).