KSI Interview: As his new documentary lands on Prime Video, the YouTube star reveals his personal pain

Last weekend, he defeated fellow influencer FaZe Temperrr in a thrilling boxing match in London, and just before Christmas sales of Prime, the energy drink he helped create, skyrocketed. The demand was so great that they were sold out everywhere – even Wayne Rooney called and asked KSI to get him some bottles for his kids.

And if that wasn’t enough, he has a new one Louis Therouxproduced documentary out today, as well as a new single. Does KSI ever find time to sleep?

“No, there is no rest for me ever!” says the affable star, real name Olajide Olatunji, smiling in his luxurious London studio. “I’ve just been working every day lately… but you know, it’s getting the results I desire: it’s worth all the hard work.”

KSI – known to his friends as JJ – has just returned from the gym as we speak, dressed all in black and his hair wrapped under his signature bandana. He is gregarious and witty, with a radiant smile.

For anyone who has somehow failed to come across the ubiquitous star who is also one of the original YouTube influencer sensations (alone and as part of the group The Sidemen, he has over 40 million subscribers to his video channels) , KSI is also a rapper (he signed with Atlantic, one of the biggest labels in the world, had the biggest selling debut album in 2020, eight top ten singles and a number one album), a successful ‘reality’ boxer and an entrepreneur with a multi-million pound multi-empire (his Prime project is expected to earn £113 million this year alone) – and he’s only 29 years old.

His new documentary, KSI: In Real Life, packs a lot into its 90 minutes. It dates back to its earliest days when Olatunji, just 15 years old, set up a YouTube account in his bedroom under the guise of an alter ego, KSI (which stands for knowledge, strength, integrity). The persona helped him counter the shyness he felt growing up as JJ, who, he says, was a clumsy, painfully shy teenager who didn’t like school.

Looking back at footage from his early YouTube endeavors was not an unqualified pleasure. “It was – unbearable‘ he grins and covers his eyes. “I didn’t know that much then. I lived in this bubble, this internet thing that I wanted to be a part of, just putting out all kinds of videos. While I now understand that what I put on the internet stays on the internet, forever!” he smiles. “I was squirming when I looked back.”

The documentary is extremely personal and delves into the life behind his successful videos. They were an instant hit as soon as he started posting as a teenager; by the time he was 19, he had earned enough from them to pay off his parents’ mortgage and buy his first home.

But despite this, not all was well. The film reveals a tense relationship with his parents: while they seemed happy, smiling and laughing in some of his videos, there were problems behind the scenes – especially with his father. In one of the film’s most emotional scenes, KSI asks his father why he hit him as a child.

“There were times, especially the last [few] years I still had that hatred of my parents,” says KSI. He felt like he always let them down—they hoped he’d become a doctor or a lawyer, certainly not a YouTube star.

“I think the fear of failure I’ve always had comes from my parents. I always felt I had to succeed because that’s what they expected of me… but these were sometimes difficult shoes to fill.”

He is still plagued daily by thoughts that he is going to fail. It looks tired from the outside. “I don’t want to be seen as that person who couldn’t,” he says. “The fear of failure [is strong] and I don’t want to go through that – I use it to propel me.

“If I don’t try my best, I feel like I’ve failed in myself. I always feel like I have to push beyond the possibilities I feel I have and just keep pushing.

A friend suggested therapy, which KSI says has been life-changing and is slowly helping him rebuild his relationship with his family. At the end of the film, KSI can even be seen awkwardly hugging his father, something he says didn’t happen when he was growing up. “It felt so weird,” he laughs. “My dad is very distant, so to get a hug like that was really momentous.”

While he constantly expresses gratitude for how much his parents gave him as a youngster (such as sending him to a private school, Berkhamsted School in Hertfordshire), he says he was just desperate for support, affection and encouragement. All he wanted, he says at one point, is for someone to “hug” him and say they “love him.”

He says knowing more about his father’s strict upbringing helped to understand some of his behavior towards him as a youngster. “Mine [parents] were always just working or they would drop me off at school and pick me up and we would just eat and then I would do homework. We never really talked and I was desperate to talk.

He would also like them to go to therapy, but “they’re not that keen,” he laughs. “They come from a different generation. But I think it helps with that [as] I’ve fought my demons, I better work with them.”

KSI has a special bond with his younger brother Deji – a frequent appearance in his videos when they were both teenagers. However, their relationship also came under strain after a very public spat online. Several diss videos were shared and the two found themselves at odds: a huge family feud played out in public. That too has left traces.

“My brother and I have had bad times. It’s been public and that’s it worst ever”, he laughs again, something he often does when he talks about painful events.

“I’m still repairing the relationship,” he continues. “It was horrible. I tried so hard to make it private and then be forced to make it a public situation, well I hated it. It really broke me. My friends saw me cry, my girlfriend saw me crying It was bad But you know, we got through it and like me and my brother, my family, we’re in a much better position.

Seeing his brother recently for his birthday was “just like old times” and a big step forward. “It’s definitely getting better,” he smiles.

Therapy has also helped him unpack other behaviors, such as excessive drinking. He now thinks that was also part of his alter ego creation, born of wanting to mask his true self.

“I would use [drinking] as a way to build my confidence, but it was a fake, a fake confidence,” he says. “Now I can safely say that I don’t want to go out to drink, whereas before I just did because I was meant to.”

He says he would have tried to hide his emotions in the past. “I think sometimes I feel like I have to play a character. If I was singing and just starting to break down, [well] I’m not one to cry in public,” he says shyly.

“I generally don’t like crying, I hate it, but sometimes emotions come up. I try to shield myself, I always try to be strong in everything, but sometimes it just doesn’t work out,” he smiles with a shrug.

Like anyone who grew up on the internet, KSI was subject to trolling, especially in the early days. Does he think the people behind YouTube and social media platforms should do more to protect them online? He thinks it’s impossible.

“Sometimes people just have a terrible day and feel like it’s necessary [have] go to other people because of that,” he says. “It’s the same with a bully. A bully becomes a bully because of problems they have at home. They take that frustration and anger onto other people. It’s very hard to stop that as a whole.

“For me, the best way to deal with it is to get their negativity out. Over time, you can become numb to it and not give those people that power and the desired response,” he continues. “I use negativity to fuel me; to drive me more. I love proving people wrong… I don’t take myself super seriously. I’m a pretty normal guy. I do some crazy, spectacular things, but at heart I’m just a normal person.”

That said, not every human gets a call from former England captain Rooney. “He just texted me,” laughs KSI. “He just hit me and he said, ‘Oh, my kids are obsessed with this Prime, can you sort me out?!’.” After KSI agreed, Rooney messaged again “he was like ‘Bro, would you like to fight me too?!'” he laughs, that the footballer also wanted to fight in his famous boxing league. “I was like, ‘No man, no! It’s not happening!’”

While a fight with Wayne Rooney is off the table, KSI has set its sights on a fight with American boxer and social media personality Jake Paul in the future, continuing to build his Misfits boxing empire, releasing more music and videos and even time to enjoy everything he has achieved.

“I’m at peace with myself,” he says, but admits he’s not ready to retire anytime soon. “The idea that I’m complacent? I detest it! Or be comfortable. I always have to level up so I can keep pushing the limits for myself to see how far I can really go… who knows what’s next!

KSI: In Real Life is available on Prime Video. KSI’s new single Voices feat Oliver Tree is out today