Lewis Capaldi says his last album Broken by the desire to be heaven-sent is “a record that I love”, but his feelings of being a cheater and his Gilles de la Tourettes syndrome may ultimately cause him to continue in music impossible.
The ‘Before You Go’ artist talked about the challenges and pressures surrounding producing his sophomore album – hit by the pandemic – as well as his upcoming Netflix documentary How I feel now for The Sunday times.
Speaking about his current experiences, Capaldi revealed he had a rough few days with vertigo, which got so bad he had to call NHS 24, Scotland’s national telehealth and telehealth system. “I needed to be told there isn’t anything terribly wrong with me,” he said of the decision. “I can handle my Gilles de la Tourette because I know it is not life-threatening. I think the dizziness is because I’ve had bronchitis, and I’m off the anti-anxiety drug Sertraline. I also have an ear infection. It is an amalgamation of many exciting ailments.”
Later in the interview, Capaldi discusses how his mental health, including things like the aforementioned anxiety and his increasingly prevalent imposter syndrome, is affecting his ability to make music. So is work on his latest album, “A Record I Love” whose songs he “can’t wait to play” live.
“Only making music does this to me,” he says. “Otherwise it can go well for months on end. So it’s a weird situation. At this point, the tradeoff is worth it. But when it comes to causing irreparable harm to myself, I’ll stop. I hate exaggeration, but it’s a very real possibility that I’ll have to pack music.
He added that when it comes to getting on stage, his Tourettes also present challenges, and in a way steal the fun from what he loves most about making music. “My tic gets pretty bad on stage now,” he says. “I’m trying to get over that. If I can’t, I’m fucked,” he said. “It’s easier if I play the guitar, but I hate playing the guitar.”
Capaldi later explains that unlike other celebrity entertainers, the fame element of his profession doesn’t really affect his mental health. Instead, it’s the expectations surrounding his work.
“Being famous is easy. You’re on the road and people are saying hello. What’s difficult about that?” he told the outlet with a laugh. “The workload is the problem. The gigantic tours through enormous halls. The expectations on me. That sure is terrifying for anyone, let alone a massive hypochondriac like me.
On a separate post, Capaldi shared a few anecdotes about recent fellow celebrities he FaceTimed with during St. Patrick’s Day festivities. So does Coldplay’s Chris Martin, who sent back a sweet, albeit delayed, response.
“When I got home, I made a fool of myself. I facetimed Chris Martin I think to ask if he wanted to come to an after party,” Capaldi recalled. Thank goodness he didn’t answer. I don’t even know him. I met him once and he was so sweet to put his number in my phone. He posted it as Chris Martin (Coldplay), like I’d forget who he is.”
But Martin did respond, offering Capaldi his ear if it was something “urgent.”
“I woke up the next day and he had sent me a long, sweet note saying he was in Brazil and asking if I was okay. “If it’s urgent, call me, with love,” he wrote. “Of course I spent the whole day in fear.”