Mother who gave birth to miracle baby after nine miscarriages urges couples not to lose hope

Pamela and Ian welcomed ‘miracle’ son Patrick after nine miscarriages (Picture: Pamela Mackenzie / SWNS)

Pamela Mackenzie, 41, thought ‘what’s wrong with me?’ each time she lost a baby.

Pamela and her husband Ian, 44, went through fertility treatment and IVF to try and start a family together, but unfortunately nine of her pregnancies didn’t make it to five or six weeks.

Finally, in 2018, after years of grief, the couple welcomed their ‘miracle’ son, Patrick, now three, after going to Prague for IVF.

Now Pamela volunteers for the International Fertility Company – which helps people seeking fertility treatment abroad and in the UK – and wants to offer hope and support to other people who are struggling.

“It’s how you feel when you’re going through a heartbreak or when someone has passed away,” says Pamela from Edinburgh, Scotland.

“It feels like you’re living in a nightmare and there’s no one to support you.

‘You ask ‘what’s wrong with me?’ and you feel less of a woman.

‘There is not enough publicity or support, you can only find support if you do your own research.’

Some of Pamela’s pregnancies never made it to a hospital visit, but other times she made it to five or six weeks.

Pamela feels there is not enough support for people experiencing miscarriage (Photo: Pamela Mackenzie / SWNS)

She wants doctors to understand the immense emotional pain of miscarriage.

“The NHS is going to extremes but I feel there is not enough support,” she said.

“Once when I got through six weeks, I was offered counseling, but I wasn’t in the right space to accept it.

“It would be great if someone came in and had a conversation with you, or even a room where you could go in and sit down and cry a little.”

The mother – who was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) when she was 12 – recalls how medical staff came across “very sober” and blunt as she shared soul-destroying news with hopeful parents.

She said, “Once a hospital worker said to me, ‘You can’t do anything, it doesn’t matter if you’re sitting or lying down, you’re going to bleed and miscarry.'”

In 2010, Pamela suffered an ectopic pregnancy while on holiday in Blackpool.

She wants to open the conversation around fertility (Picture: Pamela Mackenzie / SWNS)

After a negative pregnancy test, she was sent home by medical staff.

“I was on the bus in pain all the way back to Edinburgh and then went straight to the emergency room where they found it to be ectopic,” the mother said.

“As women, we know our own bodies and should take it more seriously.”

Other times she received ignorant comments from people who didn’t know her situation well, suggesting that she should be happy that she could get pregnant.

Pamela also said that even in her inner circle, people choose to avoid the topic because they don’t know how to talk about it.

“People just don’t mention it because they don’t know what to say, but women who’ve been through it want to talk about it because talking about it helps,” she added.

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