DEAR DEIDRE: MY Fiance rarely wants to have sex with me and yet I have seen provocative messages, nude photos and videos exchanged with a man.
She has been acting suspiciously for a while and keeps her phone handy.
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One morning, while she was taking a shower, I checked her phone to see that she was on numerous chat apps.
The posts were explicit and as I scrolled through them I found videos of a man pleasing himself.
They discussed sexual fantasies – something she has never done with me – and it was clear that they met in person.
I am 47 and my fiancé is 45. We are both divorced and have been together for two years. Our sex life isn’t what it used to be.
She is always tired, now wears pajamas after she used to always sleep naked and “needs room to sleep”.
She always jumped on me as soon as I got into bed. She no longer makes such a move.
I’m tired sometimes too, but if you’re in the mood for someone, there’s always time for sex. She’s probably thinking about that other man.
We were supposed to get married in August. I love her so much, but I’m devastated.
I try to pretend that everything is okay, but I can’t hide my feelings anymore. She knows something is wrong because she recently told me that I am the only one in her life and that there is no one else.
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I can’t marry someone who cheats on me and acts like we’re brother and sister. I feel stuck in this fake relationship, but it has to end.
I don’t want to hurt her, but I want to make her realize what she’s going to lose.
DEIDRE SAYS: Sexting is a form of cheating and it destroys your relationship.
It doesn’t stop while you’re silent about it.
But you can come back from a crisis like this and be stronger.
Tell her what you found and how hurt you feel. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you did the same to other women.
If there’s a future for the two of you, you need to talk and figure out what went so wrong that she’s turning to other men.
Really try your best to restart your sex life.
My Couples Massage Support Package can help you share much more sexy pleasure than any phone.
You can reset the wedding date to give you time to resolve the issues.
It’s better to put off the marriage — even if it ends up being annulled — than to get married and have a lifetime of regret for you.