The pair attributed their success as foster carers to simply having “thick skin”. Derrick credits his six years as a Royal Engineer soldier for teaching resilience, while Sue’s experience as a mother of two daughters taught her the life skills she needed.
Having Sue and Derrick fight tooth and nail for her, who refused to accept that she was “just” another confused kid, led to a major diagnosis that Megan says has changed the outcome of her life.
“They noticed that I was different from a lot of my friends and a lot of young people my age, and they did everything they could to get me the help I needed,” she explains. “When I was 13, they helped me get my mental health checked. If it weren’t for them, I would have been written off as a bad kid and never even known by the school mental health teams.
Logical
Eventually, Megan was diagnosed with autism and, as she got a little older, was re-diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, an overlapping condition that affects one’s sense of self.
“It often leads to intense, but unstable relationships where you can go from loving someone to hating someone in five minutes with nothing in between,” Megan explains. “There’s impulsive behavior: You feel empty inside, so you do things that are going to fill that void.”
With Sue and Derrick standing by her side and helping Megan through her diagnosis, her life began to “make more sense”. In practice, she was able to get extra time for exams that had previously sent her into panic attacks. She was offered a quiet room where she could sit if necessary.
“Before they fought for me, I couldn’t get those accommodations because I didn’t have that diagnosis,” she says. The extra help and support has amply paid off. Last summer, Megan was the first of Derrick and Sue’s foster children to graduate from college, with a degree in film. “It’s always been my dream, but I’m sure I never would have gotten there without their support,” says Megan. “I’m so proud she graduated,” Sue beams as she chokes. “It was so much fun going to the graduation with her. She did very, very well.”
Part of the family
One of the central tenets of Sue and Derrick’s foster care is to treat the young people who live with them as part of the family. One experience that really stood out to Megan was how the couple welcomed her into their annual Christmas traditions.
“Most people my age don’t remember their first Christmas, but I didn’t get mine until I was 12,” Megan grins. “On Christmas Eve they welcomed me to their big family dinner and when we got home they had put together a Christmas Eve box with new pajamas and a Christmas movie to watch. The truth is I wasn’t expecting presents, but on Christmas morning I came downstairs and I swear I’d never seen such a bag of presents as the one waiting for me. I had never even received a present. I cried because I was so overwhelmed by how much there was.
“So I sat between Sue and Derrick’s daughters and their grandchildren and Derrick’s brother and nephews and rummaged through this pile of presents. They gave me everything I asked for. I can’t tell you how grateful I was. It was the most magical memory; I didn’t want it to end.”