Readers may remember a childhood puzzle – which may still exist – called Whereis Wally?.
The aim of the exercise was to identify Wally and occasionally his friends, who were hidden in endless drawings among the crowd. I could never do it.
I think the Tories must figure out a puzzle called Where's Keir?, to solve the Work leader through its various manifestations. It could liven up what has so far been a rather moribund general election.
Labor Party leader Sir Keir Starmer chats in the Lancing Parish Hall cafe during a campaign appearance yesterday
Is that the leader of the Labor Party jogging with his mate? Jeremy Corbyn and his gang, which is being protested against NATO and Britain's independent nuclear deterrent?
Or could that be Keir taking on the military and – as he did yesterday during questions after what was billed as a major speech in West Sussex – declaring that defense is the 'first duty' of any government?
Could that be Keir who kept quiet while Corbyn drove many Jews out of the Labor Party, or is that him? promised to end anti-Semitism?
Is that Keir announcing his campaign to lead Labor in 2020, promising large-scale nationalization and higher taxes for the wealthy in a program welcomed by the Hard Left?
Could that be our ubiquitous hero having lunch with City's fat cats, promising them they have nothing to fear from Labour's stewardship of the economy?
The only problem with the game is that Keir would be everywhere: radical and moderate, iconoclast and traditionalist, disruptor and witch-maker. Wherever you looked, you would recognize him.
In his nine years as a politician, Sir Keir Starmer has established himself as a champion shape-shifter. He started on the soft left side, then got into bed with Jeremy Corbyn, then got out of bed and then kicked Jeremy out of bed before getting back in, after changing the sheets.
Is that the leader of the Labor Party jogging with his pal Jeremy Corbyn and his gang, protesting against NATO and Britain's independent nuclear deterrent?
It is no wonder that the British public is somewhat confused about the man who, if the polls are to be believed, will be Prime Minister of the United Kingdom in less than six weeks.
Yesterday's speech in Sussex was probably an introductory session with Keir. Those who hoped the mask would slip will be disappointed. Under the mask was another mask, and under that there is undoubtedly another, and so on.
Maybe it doesn't matter. Perhaps the country will vote for this enigmatic leader, without having much idea of his policies, simply because they are sick to their teeth with the Tories. We shall see.
Sir Keir went out of his way to prove his working-class reputation (the phrase 'working people' appeared twelve times in his half-hour speech) and he told his audience that he had grown up not far away. We were reminded that his father was a toolmaker and his mother, who was often ill, a nurse.
The Tories were thumped to a degree that some will consider unfair. The word 'chaos' appeared nine times in connection with this government, while Rishi was mocked for suggesting the economy had turned a corner. Are things really that bad?
The Labor leader has repeatedly said he is in favor of service delivery and wants to put “country before party”. Find a politician who will say otherwise, and the Pope will declare a miracle.
As we started the policy, I sat up and grabbed my pen. Maybe we would finally get some red meat, or at least a piece. But no. We were offered empty platitudes.
Step six, also previously announced, involves supplying 6,500 new teachers, paid for by abolishing the VAT exemption enjoyed by private schools. Even as he wielded the axe, Sir Keir emphasized his respect for parents who send their children to these institutions
There were, we were told, six steps. I will not describe them in exhaustive detail, but we cannot completely draw a veil over them. Step one was to create 'economic stability'. Little guidance was given as to how this might be done other than through 'a non-negotiable pact with working people – the symbol of a changed Labor Party – ready to serve our country'. So it's all very clear.
Step two, which has already been announced, is to reduce NHS waiting times delivering 40,000 additional appointments per week. You can choose to believe this or not. It's easy to promise.
Step three, which was also not new, was the creation of a 'Border Security Command' to thwart the small boats crossing the Channel. Since there are so few details about how this would work, I don't have any confidence in it.
Step four, also known, is the creation of a new company called Great British Energy, 'paid for by a windfall tax on the energy giants' and 'capturing the opportunities of clean British energy'. Believe it if you want.
Step five is to crack down on antisocial behavior, although again few details have been provided.
Step six, also previously announced, involves supplying 6,500 new teachers, paid for by abolishing the VAT exemption enjoyed by private schools. Wielding the axe, Sir Keir emphasized his respect for parents who send their children to these institutions. Big from him.
And that was it. Nothing new. What was old was usually unconvincing. For example, Labor has not taken into account the cost of housing, within the state system, pupils whose parents could no longer afford to educate them privately.
This much-praised speech was partly an unenlightening walk through Sir Keir's past, and partly the repetition of well-known policies, which on a modest scale certainly does not justify the word 'change' – it appeared 18 times and was emblazoned on the lectern. for him.
What would a Labor government really look like? Would it be as boring and boring and boring as his speech? Or does this inscrutable man harbor radical plans that he dare not tell us about this side of an election?
The Tories have just over five weeks to help us find an answer. Because we can be sure that Sir Keir will not appear, and I will be surprised if the Labor manifesto offers many clues as to how the party would govern.
At least the Tories are coming up with interesting ideas. I cheered recently when Chancellor Jeremy Hunt said the much-hated inheritance tax is “deeply anti-conservative.” Many of us have been saying this for 14 years! Its reform must be in the Tory manifesto. That would strike a chord with many voters.
The National Service does that too. It may have the feeling of an idea scribbled on the back of a cigarette pack and not yet fully thought through, but it is bold and imaginative.
Or could that be Keir taking on the military and – as he did yesterday during questions after what was billed as a major speech in West Sussex – declaring that defense is the 'first duty' of any government?
All Sir Keir could say about this plan was that it was 'desperate', without explaining why. In questions after his speech, he was asked about university tuition fees (would this be increased by Labor?) and the electoral card at elections (would this be withdrawn?). No comment.
Sir Keir's latest change of form is to offer himself as a largely policy-free zone. If he was charismatic or a stirring orator you could tip your hat to him, but he's neither.
The Tories can certainly make a lot of this. They don't need to be mean about Sir Keir's age (he's 61) and perceived lack of energy, as has been the case recently.
What they need to do is point out repeatedly that Sir Keir Starmer is an unknown figure pursuing little-known policies behind which the dark shadow of past extremism can be glimpsed. I don't know about you, but that scares the hell out of me.