Stop assuming that people with intellectual disabilities don’t know our sexuality

My name is Sas Granville, I’m 33, I live in Worthing, West Sussex and have a learning disability and cerebral palsy.

I volunteer at two charity shops and play for the Brighton Seagals, a local football team. Being part of the team is very important to me as my teammates are all LGBTQ+.

I think it’s hard to meet a partner if you have a disability, and even harder if you’re also gay. I find it difficult to meet people because of my disability. It can be quite difficult to explain because some do not know what a learning disability or cerebral palsy is.

Proportions are difficult for most people, but if you have a disability it can be harder to trust someone. I don’t really know when someone is a real friend/partner or when they are trying to use me.

I don’t always pick up on the signals early on, which makes me anxious. Some of my previous girlfriends didn’t understand my disability and didn’t treat me nice, for example using me to make me do what they wanted to do instead of thinking about what I wanted, which was not fun.

My sexuality is very important to me, it’s a big part of who I am. I came out when I was about 16. I like being gay and being with other gay people, but I don’t know what love feels like. I’ve been hurt so many times in the past.

I’ve seen the love my siblings have with their partners, and I want that for myself. But I’m happier being single than having a difficult relationship.

Currently I am part of Mencap’s Myth Busters squad; a group of people who challenge misconceptions about what life with an intellectual disability looks like.

As a Myth Buster, I want everyone to know that people with intellectual disabilities can know their sexuality – I’m sure I’m attracted to women! People who are gay should be able to do what everyone else does and have relationships and get married if they want to.

I have been bullied in the past because of my sexuality and that is not true. I was kicked out of a community club and discriminated against after people found out I’m gay in college.

I hope to settle down and build a life with someone in the future. I’ve seen people around me having relationships and I want that for me

My teacher was very good and supported me by talking to the girls who were unkind. I kept going to university because I wanted to finish my course, but most days I was unhappy. I was so angry because I was being bullied for who I am. Ultimately, it shouldn’t matter who people are with or who they love. People should be able to love who they want.

I have always felt comfortable with my sexuality and I am fortunate that my family and friends have always supported me. I realized I was gay when I was a teenager, but my mom knew before I did! When I told her I was gay (in a text!) she said, “That’s good — I was pretty sure you were.”

I never liked to wear dresses and was a bit of a tomboy. I came out after talking to my sister because she made me feel like it was okay. There wasn’t really one moment where I realized I loved girls, it just happened.

I love Pride and go to Pride events! It’s my favorite day of the year, except my birthday! It’s so much fun because I’m with a lot of other people who are gay and who want to have fun and be themselves. It brings everyone together and tells the world that I am proud of my sexuality. It’s nice to see how far society has come. That’s why Pride is so important.

This year I will be attending the Worthing and Brighton Pride events where I will be in the parades and my football mates will come to support. I’ve never been to Worthing Pride as it’s still quite new so I’m looking forward to it especially as it’s in my hometown.

The fact that sleepy towns like Worthing Pride are hosting events is encouraging. It’s really nice to see that there are more places than big cities. It is a step in the right direction.

I hope to settle down and build a life with someone in the future. I’ve seen people around me have relationships and I want that for me. I’ve been single for a long time, but it’s important that whoever I’m with sees me for me and not for my disability. I really want to find someone who also likes football! That’s important to me. I want someone to cheer me on when I play.

I would like to get married in the future. My previous relationships have not stopped that. I want to get married in my Brighton FC football kit and they can wear a white dress or whatever they want.

I would like to get married at Brighton FC Amex football stadium. There’s a VIP room that overlooks the field and it’s great, I want my reception to be there. No one has ever married in the stadium, so I want to be the first!

Mencap supports thousands of people with intellectual disabilities to live their lives the way they want. For more information, visit www.mencap.org.uk

Do you have a story you want to share? Contact us by email [email protected].

Share your thoughts in the comments below.

LAKE : I used to be afraid to dress like a lesbian – now I couldn’t love it anymore

LAKE : I’m afraid the word ‘lesbian’ will become invisible

LAKE : What happened to all the lesbian bars?