Exactly the kind of rom-com story audiences have seen time and time again for middle-aged heterosexual, white characters — and that Hollywood has recently shown more interest with younger LGBTQ+ characters in projects like Love, Victor, Fire Island and Everything is possible — disconnected delivers the kind of narrative treatment middle-aged gay men are rarely on the receiving end of. And it comes at a remarkable time for the LGBTQ+ community.
NetflixThe latest rom-com episode is coming Neil patrick harrisMichael, a successful middle-aged real estate agent in New York cop who suddenly finds himself breaking up with his 17-year-old partner after Colin (played by Tuc Watkins) decides without explanation that their relationship is no longer working.
After his life is turned upside down, Michael tries to redefine (and find) himself that he is now a single gay man in New York navigating a dating scene that sometimes makes him feel out of his depth. (The cast also includes Brooks Ashmanskas, Tisha Campbell, Emerson Brooks, Marcia Gay Harden, and André De Shields.)
Equal parts funny and serious, romantic and heartbreaking, the Netflix series seemingly nails the tricky balance of being many things — for many people — at once. That is something Darren Star says was at the heart of how he and co-creator Jeffrey Richman approached the show.
“Jeff and I talked at the beginning about wanting the emotions to feel universal. We wanted the audience watching it to feel like everyone could relate to the story,” he says The Hollywood Reporter. “And of course we wanted to tell the very specific story of a middle-aged gay man in New York who becomes single after so many years.”
That effort was part of what appealed to star Harris when considering the project. “I am very grateful and thankful that we live in a time where this kind of content can be created and showcased without acknowledging its uniqueness,” Harris said. “It was really a break-up show, written by people who broke up with them, and they shared their experiences. And that doesn’t just have to be seen by people who have shared the exact same experience.”
“They’ve been gay for a long time,” Richman says of the show’s approach. “It’s not in their heads anymore. It’s just part of their world.”
The fruits of the team’s efforts to create a universal “break-up” story resulted in a parallel story show, according to Star, about what it means to be single and middle-aged, by characters from all over the world. different races, genders and orientations than his lead.
“These are characters who don’t live in an exclusively gay world. They have a mixed group of friends. They don’t just define their lives about homosexuality,” says Star. “And I don’t think any of these characters even ask for a minute — except for Marcia Gay Harden’s character, who kind of asks questions, ‘Well, is it really the same for you as it is for me?’ – the depths of emotions associated with the pain you might feel at a breakup.
“The emotions are the same,” he adds, “regardless of sexuality.”
“A breakup is very universal, and seeing someone go through it is kind of cathartic in its own way because it’s either very relatable – you felt the same thing and you’ve been through it – or it’s super informative about pitfalls to avoid,” Harris shares. “I think the great thing is that it has nothing to do with sexuality. It’s a very sexual show, but it doesn’t try to make any point on the sex scale.”
If you watch, it’s easy to see how the story’s main couple is defined less by their sexuality and more by their efforts to navigate life after spending nearly half of their lives together. To actor Ashmanskas, who plays Michael’s best friend and art dealer Stanley, it “meaned a lot” that the series “read that way.”
“It was immediately apparent upon reading even the first script, there was something going on that — and I mean, this is a compliment — was so normal,” he continues. “It was such a normal script and normal series that I just came away after finishing it and thought, ‘Oh, okay. They’re a bunch of gay men of a certain age.’ That’s interesting. That’s fantastic.'”
The nonchalance and typicality with which his homosexual characters exist also makes disconnected one of a growing group of projects that finally – and completely – treat LGBTQ characters with the same level of humanity and nuance that heterosexual characters in the genre have received for decades. It reflects a generation of LGBTQ+ people who have now lived for years under equal civil rights that they did not have before. Rights currently being threatened across the country by various anti-gay and anti-trans laws.
disconnected was written for many of the more aggressive challenges, including a possible quashing of LGBTQ+ marriage rights by the U.S. Supreme Court, which was brought against LGBTQ+ Americans over the past year. That leaves it squarely in a more equitable reality that LGBTQ+ people may now want to see.
Richman tells THR that “hopefully we’ll never have to consider” on the show itself addressing the stripping of its characters’ rights “because the world won’t go crazy.” But he also says this would “change the whole thrust of the show,” Star noting that they write from and for the experiences and perspectives of gay New Yorkers.
“I think we’re telling stories about characters living in New York right now, and it’s very specific to New York. I don’t know how the show would turn out if it was set in Oklahoma or the Midwest,” Star adds. “So maybe it will turn out to be a bubble, but it’s the reality of life for these characters.”
For Harris, the show offers an apolitical story of love and growth, which may ultimately help underscore the universal experience of LGBTQ+ people.
“I think we are now in an understandably complicated time. It’s an election cycle with a lot of people saying a lot of things to try and scare people about all kinds of things,” he says. THR. “Personally, I feel that the tipping point of acceptance has turned. That through examples of written content, of filmed content, of stage content, of neighbor content, of poker friend content – we have too many examples of gay people being effective citizens. It would surprise me to see it actually take a huge step back.”
“But I think in an interesting way, disconnected’s rom-comedy and the realistic writing styles of Darren and Jeffrey are yet another example of how universal this experience is,” he continues. “Whatever you are, no matter what you believe, you are in a position to support for them.”
disconnected is currently streaming on Netflix.