Vicky Pattison has revealed that she was afraid of becoming an alcoholic after drinking excessively in her twenties, leading her to believe she would follow the same path as her father, John.
The former Geordie Shore star, 34, opened up about her own relationship with alcohol ahead of the release of her Channel 4 documentary, titled Vicky Pattison: My Dad, Alcohol and Me.
Vicky, who rose to fame on the reality show where she often drank too much on nights out, admitted that she didn’t want to imitate her father’s behavior but that she had experienced moments in her life when she “looked just like him.”
She admits she felt ‘sick in the stomach’ watching old clips of herself on Geordie Shore because she ‘didn’t like who [alcohol] created [her] become’.
Vicky told The Times Magazine“I thought I was my father’s daughter, so it was going to happen sooner or later and it didn’t really matter when.
“A lot of people on the show had a really good time and got funny and silly and then stopped. I never was. I don’t have an off switch and I was never a nice drunk.’
She added that she “didn’t blame the producers” but didn’t have the skills to “be surrounded by so much alcohol” when she was only 22.
Vicky was arrested in 2013 after throwing a shoe into a bar, injuring a woman and a staff member, leaving her suspended from Geordie Shore and feeling suicidal. She later returned to the show for two more series before quitting for good in 2014.
She hopes her documentary will “bring more sunlight into alcoholism and break the stigma around it” after growing up and thinking it was “normal” after seeing her father go through the same problem.
Vicky explained, “I didn’t want to be like him. But in some ways I’ve been just like him. The idea that alcoholism was some kind of gene scared me and made me think I had no choice but to go the same way. I saw that I had to take steps to change things.’
Becoming a mother is something Vicky, who is engaged to Ercan Ramadan, wants to do in the future, as she previously feared having children in case she left them “devastated” as she had been.
She explained, “The real reason was because I had all my father’s problems and lockups and addictions, and I was so afraid that my kids would end up like me: broken.”
Vicky still describes her relationship with alcohol as “complicated”, but says that while her father “never wanted more than a drink”, she does want things and is adamant that she will have a better life than the “dark alternative” she has. convinced she was destined to follow.
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