A woman has revealed how she secretly took diet pills as a teenager, dropping her from size 11 to size two in just three months — eventually developing a serious eating disorder that plagued her for 15 years.
PollyAnna Brown, now 36, a ghostwriter and publicity specialist based in the US, recalled developing early and not fitting in with her “skinny friends” when she was younger during a recent essay for Insider†
She explained that she became so insecure about her weight that she decided to do everything in her power “to look like the other girls her age.”
PollyAnna secretly started taking her mother’s diet pills, and although they helped her lose a lot of weight quickly, she now thinks about how unhealthy it was for her to take them at such a young age, and the long-lasting effect it had. has had on her.
A woman has revealed how she secretly took diet pills as a teenager in just three months, but gave her a serious eating disorder that has plagued her for 15 years
PollyAnna Brown, now 36, recalled developing early and not fitting in with her “skinny friends” when she was younger during a recent essay for Insider. She is seen at the age of 16
She explained that she became so insecure about her weight that she decided to do everything in her power “to look like the other girls her age.”
Growing up in the days of Slim-Fast and ‘There’s no such thing as too thin’, my curvy body was wanted by men and shamed by women in the pre-Kardashian era. I just didn’t fit in,” she wrote.
‘Not anymore, I decided. Soon I jumped on the counter, opened the medicine cabinet and fished out my mother’s diet pills.’
PollyAnna recalled becoming obsessed with losing weight – limiting herself to eating just 18 grams of fat a day and exercising “constantly.”
†[I ran] about five to fifteen miles a day. I ran as often as I could and ate as little as possible while taking diet pills to lose weight faster,” she recalls.
In just three months, the then-teenager lost nine sizes and dropped to 118 pounds. And while she was often “praised for losing her weight” by those around her, she explained that “no one knew” the extreme measures she took to “make it happen.”
“All they saw was me shrinking from what was considered overweight at the time — to thin,” she added.
The writer said she developed an eating disorder — and it took her 15 years to recover from her “unhealthy diet.”
She secretly started taking her mother’s diet pills, and although they helped her lose weight, she now thinks about how unhealthy it was for her and the long-lasting effect it has had on her.
PollyAnna recalled becoming obsessed with losing weight – she limited herself to eating just 18 grams of fat a day and exercising ‘constantly’
And even after she got better, she still noticed “diet culture” around her — well into her adult life.
In three months, the then-teenager lost nine sizes and dropped to 118 pounds. But she said she developed an eating disorder — and it took her 15 years to recover from her ‘unhealthy diet’
“The food culture taught me that my worth was tied to being thin, and it affected everything: how I showed up in front of friends; what roles I took in my relationships; and how I was willing to be seen in my company,” she said.
‘If I really wanted to be free from the food culture, I would have to value myself differently.’
Last Christmas, PollyAnna said she had “gained some weight” and that it “has seriously damaged her self-esteem.”
She considered using a doctor-prescribed syringe to help her lose it from a friend’s recommendation.
However, after examining the health risks and discovering that it could cause thyroid tumors, it opened her eyes to how dangerous some of the weight-loss methods could be.
While she was often “praised” by those around her for losing weight, she explained that “no one knew” the extreme measures she took to “make that happen.”
Now she weighs about 145 pounds on average, but she fluctuates a lot – and she’s OK with that, explaining that she’s taken ‘incredible steps’ to accept herself
“I can actually look in the mirror without tearing myself up,” she said. ‘I’m happy to exercise and eat well because it feels good, not because I have to to be perfect’
She explained: “I asked myself this question: “Do I want to be on the never-ending quest for the perfect body with the lowest percentage of body fat, perfect breasts, a big round butt and a locked-in waist, constantly reaching for the next shake, diet, drug or surgery to be seen as valuable and valuable to the world? Or do I want to choose a different path?”‘
The journalist said she thought about her own journey for a while and called her self-doubt “disturbing.”
“The number of times ‘I’m not thin enough to…’ or ‘I’m not pretty enough to…’ were mentioned was disturbing,” she said.
Now she weighs about 145 pounds on average, which she says is “healthy for her,” but she fluctuates a lot — and she’s okay with that.
While she’s not “perfect” yet, she said she’s taken “incredible steps” toward accepting herself.
“I don’t blame myself for not being a size 2 – I fluctuate between a size six and a size eight. I can really look in the mirror without tearing myself up,” she concluded.
“I’m happy to exercise and eat right because it feels good, not because I have to to be perfect. It’s a whole new world to feel free from constantly body shaming myself.’