If you’ve ever been through a bad breakup, you know how overwhelming the pain can be.
So you won’t be surprised by the comments from actress and TV presenter Denise Van Outen that her split from Eddie Boxshall made her experience extreme physical symptoms of heartbreak, including: anxietya knot in her stomach, and panic attacks.
Denise wasn’t exaggerating – heartbreak can really trigger panic attacks. And it’s essential that, like Denise, we take this seriously and give ourselves the support we need.
“A breakup can be unimaginably painful, and it’s not uncommon for the intense emotions in the aftermath to take a physical toll on both your body and mind,” said Michelle Begy, the founder of Inflamed Dating.
‘It can even result in a real medical condition called broken heart syndrome (takotsubo cardiomyophy), which mirrors all the symptoms of a heart attack.
‘Caused by extreme emotional stress, the condition can cause some seriously scary symptoms, including shortness of breath, intense chest pain, dizziness and nausea.
‘Broken Heart Syndrome can happen very quickly and it changes how your heart pumps, causing the scary and worrisome symptoms.
The good news is that it is treatable.
“There are many other all-too-familiar physical symptoms of heartbreak, including changes in appetite, stomach pain, headaches, feeling generally unwell and suffering from insomnia.
“And that’s on top of the emotional rollercoaster you go through as you deal with your newfound single status and the loss of someone your life has revolved around until recently.
‘A termination of a relationship can cause a huge upheaval in your life, with consequences for your daily routine, sense of security and plans for the future.
“It can be all too easy to get stuck in a rut of not being able to stop thinking about the relationship and going over and over with what’s been going on in your head, hoping to find something you’ve missed and that can solve everything.’
How to navigate through a bad breakup
So a severe breakup can put us in serious trouble, both physically and mentally. What can we do about it?
Give yourself permission to grieve the relationship
feel your feelings. You may be broken now.
Call on your support system
Michelle says, “It can be all too tempting to wallow and lock up at home, so it’s really important not to cut yourself off from the support network around you.
“Associating with people you care about can help you take your mind off things and open up new opportunities for activities and experiences you might enjoy.”
Prioritize self-care
Now is the time to really take care of yourself.
Invest time and energy in self-love and make sure you maintain the basics of sleeping well, eating right, and managing stress.
“Don’t forget the importance of self-care and make sure you eat right and exercise regularly, even if you have to force yourself to do it,” Michelle insists.
Have a clean break
“As tempting as it may be, resist the urge to prolong the pain by staying in touch with your ex,” advises Michelle. “A clean break can help you move forward and heal.
“If it helps, why not make a list of your ex’s negative traits to help you process the emotions you’ve been feeling and strengthen your determination that going your own way was the right decision?”
Focus on the lessons learned
One thought that might pop up is that you wasted time and effort on the relationship that didn’t work out. That is not the case.
Michelle says: “Whether it was months or years, don’t think of the time you spent together as wasted because the relationship, as well as enjoyable in the moment, will have helped you learn what works best for you when it comes to settling down with someone new.
“Despite the grief and pain, you’ve learned some valuable lessons along the way that you can take with you into future relationships.
“A breakup can be a valuable opportunity to understand what you do and don’t want from your next relationship, and use your experience to really decide what you liked about the pairing and what you would have liked to see different.”
‘Really investing this time in yourself can help you come out stronger and put into perspective what you’ve gained during the time with your ex.’
And the positive sides of breaking up
“In time, you can focus on all the things you’ve always wanted to do, but your relationship may have stopped you from doing it — whether it’s a career change, a move to a new area, or travel more, embrace your single status and the opportunities it offers,” says Michelle.
Don’t be ashamed to seek professional help
If the emotions of your breakup are overwhelming, or if you’re experiencing physical symptoms like panic attacks, don’t feel stupid about seeking help to get you through this.
Talking to a professional can help you on the journey to process these difficult emotions.
Do you have a story to share?
Contact us by email [email protected].
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