As we walked to the sea on a beautiful sunny day with Aryan* – the young Afghan asylum seeker who lives with me – we were elated.
He had just had his asylum application fast-tracked, so we admired the waterfalls around us in North Devon to celebrate.
Aryan said, “This looks exactly like my Kunar province.” Like Exmoor – where we live – Kunar is very green and hilly, with the water flowing through beautiful wooded areas all the way to the sea.
On the way home I took rest and Aryan went to the river to pray. A couple walked by and after stopping to take in the scene, they held their own hands in prayer with his.
This exchange made me feel so hopeful that these two people stopped to express their solidarity with him. It was a beautiful moment.
I met Aryan after a dark period in my life.
David, my husband of 47 years, dead on April 10, 2019.
In the aftermath, I told my family and friends that I was doing fine, but that I was actually numb. I couldn't even go to the places I visited or listen to the music I once enjoyed because it might make me think of my husband and make me cry.
I woke up one morning and thought, 'I can't live another thirty years this unhappy.'
My neighbor was volunteer work at the classroom asylum hotel and – with my background as a nurse – she encouraged me to come and work for her.
That's why I started volunteering there in January 2023.
On my first day in the hotel I was going to assist the doctor, but all the volunteers were overloaded. Within about five minutes I picked up the phone to the local school to arrange a place for one of the boys.
After that first hectic day I knew I had to come back.
Over time, the hotel residents started to trust us. When we were together, we laughed and laughed.
Aryan was quieter than some of the other residents, so it took me longer to get to know him. It was the end of March when we sat down for a good conversation for the first time.
Aryan was a 22-year-old soldier in the Afghan army who fled for his life after the murder of his father and other family when the Taliban returned to power in August 2021.
After escaping, he was brutally beaten while trying to cross several borders and nearly drowned cross the Channel.
When he reached Britain he became unwell due to the cold and damp conditions Manston Processing Centre. There were hundreds of people in one camp, locked up without proper food or water, and Aryan told me he was given a thin blanket to sleep on the concrete floor in the freezing cold.
When he arrived at the asylum center, he had still not fully recovered.
When he first told me his story, it took my breath away how people could do this to each other. He showed me photos of his sister and brother, and of the Taliban killing his father. My heart was broken and all I could do was listen and show that I cared.
Unfortunately the hotel is closed on May 20th and we don't have a clear answer as to why. But when the news got out, I decided to offer Aryan a home and he was very enthusiastic about the idea.
I had always planned to ask someone from the hotel to come and live with me and I was sure that Aryan was the right person. So after we signed up for the community sponsorship program, it was sorted.
The first few days I asked Aryan to choose which bedroom he wanted and I let him decorate his room. He brought tons of photos and taped them to the wall.
My kids were never allowed to stick things on the wall and they joked that it wasn't fair that I allowed that. But when you're at the hotel, you learn that there's more to life than a piece of tape.
Of course, there have been some strange moments too. Aryan cooks a lot, but when we lived together, I once came into the kitchen early and he said 'eggs, please'.
He just didn't have the language to politely ask for what he wanted and I said, 'No, that's not how you ask, that's how it is.'
I left shortly afterwards to feed my friend's cat and when I returned, Aryan thought I had reported him to the police. Even now he thinks that if he does something wrong, the police will come and send him back to Afghanistan or even to Afghanistan Rwanda.
As long as he waits refugee status, he lives with the fear that his claim will be denied or rejected. That really sticks with him.
It's not unique to Aryan either. They all feel this way.
But Aryan is now part of our family. In fact, he often reminds me of my grandson. He eats all the food and he likes to be cheeky, even playing little jokes on me – calling me 'grumpy Pam'!
He loves to work in the garden and is a wonderful cook, making incredible korma and biryani.
Above all, Aryan is extremely friendly, and our disagreements have never been an obstacle. I love coming home to the sound of his Afghan music and his friends.
Our small village also welcomed him with open arms. Like when Aryan joined the local cricket club, they made sure he was fully equipped.
The first time he played, everyone in the crowd applauded and some even cried when he got his first wicket. He then taught cricket at the local primary school and all the children loved him.
So when I see politicians talking about getting rid of refugees and… stopping the boatsit just doesn't fit with what we've been through as a village – and it makes me feel so disillusioned about my country.
This is not what the public wants. I don't know anyone who really agrees with sending people to Rwanda, including the Conservatives. I think it's a shame that there is a government that finds this acceptable. I'm ashamed of being British.
The asylum system is failing Aryan and so many others. As residents of the hotel, there were lawyers, paramedics, doctors, teachers – so many wonderful people who were forced to sit still and feel helpless because they were not allowed to work, and their claims were postponed.
The future is uncertain at the moment, but Aryan wants to join the British army – he even has a British flag and an Afghan flag hanging side by side in his bedroom. I know he would eventually like to get married and have children.
Aryan simply wants what any young person would want – a secure future – and I really encourage everyone to volunteer with those seeking safety. Whether it's for an hour here and there or hosting someone, we all have something to offer.
Hosting Aryan has completely changed my life for the better.
*Name has been changed
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