A FORMER traditionalist has issued a warning to women after revealing the hardships she faced when she divorced at the age of 40.
A traditional woman (short for traditional woman) is a woman who chooses to take on an ultra-traditional role weddingwhich means she prepares dinner and looks pretty while her husband goes to work.
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Traditional women choose to dress in style of clothing that was popular during this period (think floral dresses and frumpy cardigans).
Furthermore, the values considered important to the traditions are similar to strict Christian values.
Traditional women state that they are not forced into this way of life, and believe that their purpose is to be homemakers.
Ruelle explained that she chose to become a traditional woman because it is all she has ever known, as neither her mother nor her grandmother have ever worked.
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Take to TikTokshe revealed that when she married in 1995, she had no education beyond high school and no work experience.
“This is what I wanted because I had no understanding of the consequences I am now facing,” she said.
Ruelle was a stay-at-home mom to her three children for 20 years, but ultimately divorced in 2016.
“I had to start at the bottom with no work experience,” she said.
The mother of three, now 49, explained that she struggled to earn enough money to support her children after the parting and hasn't been able to make much progress in her career because she doesn't have a degree.
Ruelle said she believes motherhood is both rewarding and sacrificial, adding that when she was married, her husband always made her feel guilty when she wanted to spend time with her friends.
She added that she now believes that in this economy there is no point in being a traditional wife.
“If you want to be a traditional wife, prepare yourself,” she said.
'I wish I had known then what I know now. Don't rely on your partner to meet your needs forever.”
Signs of financial abuse
While the “traditional woman” lifestyle is a choice for those who don't mind being financially dependent, you should be aware of the signs of financial abuse.
These may include, but are not limited to:
- prevent you from going to work, college or university
- causing you to miss out on benefits because you cannot attend Jobcentre appointments or apply for jobs
- controlling your access to essentials, such as food, clothing or transportation.
- forces you to withdraw money or get credit in your name
- causes you to transfer control of your accounts – this may include changing your login details
- cashes your pension or other checks without your permission
- adds their name to your account
- It pressures you to change your will in a way you don't like
- has offered to use your money to buy groceries or pay bills, but takes it and does not use the money as you agreed
- asks you to prove what you spent your money on
- prevents you from accessing your bank, loan, or credit card accounts
- determines what you can and cannot spend your money on
- set up direct debits from your account to pay bills that don't belong to you or to pay for goods and services that you haven't purchased
- pressures you to ensure that your benefits are paid into a bank account that you do not have access to
- pressures you to withdraw, transfer or stop pension benefits
- ensures that you take out new insurance or that you no longer pay for your existing insurance.
- To access help, please contact Women's Aid: on their websiteand online chat service.
- You can also call the toll-free 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Hotline at 0808 200 0247
Ruelle's video has probably struck a chord with many people as it has gone viral and has been viewed over 1.6 million times on the video sharing platform.
TikTok users rushed to the comments section of the video to share their thoughts.
One person said: “My mother was a traditional wife and insisted I earn my own income because of what she went through.”
A second said: 'I worked the entire 25 years of my marriage.
“My mother said I should never depend on a man for money.”
A third added: “Unfortunately so many women don't think this will happen to them, you never know.”
A fourth added: “I started studying at 50, it's never too late.”
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