IF you’re single, you know what the term ghosting means.
And if you don’t, it’s basically when someone completely ignores you.
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Ghosting is a relatively new casual dating term that refers to abruptly ending contact with someone without giving that person any warning or explanation.
Ghosting is generally seen as bad manners, something nasty for someone to do.
But relationship coach and TikTok star Jake Maddock disagrees, thinking it’s actually something singletons should do more often when they don’t feel a connection.
According to Jake, ghosting allows you to proceed efficiently and effectively, and to win the dating game, you have to.
If you’ve been dating for a while, you know it’s not always the friendliest place.
For many, the search for “that one” is a hard and relentless road – as the months or years go by, many people may wonder, “will I ever find them?”
For relationship coach Jake Maddock, ghosting is something more people should be doing where necessary.
Jake explains: “The world has become so soft and pathetic that if someone haunts you, if they don’t respond to your messages, everyone collapses and has panic attacks crying themselves to sleep.
“We all suffer quite a bit from the ‘garlands and arrows’ of the world in our daily lives – we miss a job interview, an audition or a freelance project pitch.
“We are not meeting our sales targets and are being told to scale up. We are asked to redo a presentation, email or document.
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“Ghosting is friendlier — a short, sharp cut without the usual dressing or list of your mistakes.”
According to Jake, here are the five reasons why ghosting is really necessary.
You don’t owe them an explanation
If you’ve only been on a handful of dates with someone, Jake believes you don’t owe them an explanation as to why you don’t want to see them again.
According to Jake, “If you go on a date with someone and you don’t like them, you don’t owe them an explanation why.
“If you don’t like someone, you don’t need a reason.
“If they’re so sensitive that they can’t stand it when someone doesn’t like them, then they have a lot of personal issues to work out.
“They need to develop a sense of resilience and gut strength and that’s not your problem.”
you don’t have time
If you’re a date, you know it takes time to find Mr Right – as a result, Jake thinks you don’t have time to give people a long-winded reason why you’re not interested.
Jake explained: “Finding your ideal partner takes time and hard work.
“It shouldn’t be easy. You may have to go on 50 to 100 first dates to find that ideal person for you.
“Having to have a long-winded, sympathetic conversation with every guy or girl you don’t like would be a huge waste of time, so don’t feel bad about ghosting someone.
“You help that person become more resilient and have thicker skin and you save yourself some time in the process.
“Remember, every minute you waste with the wrong person is a minute stolen from your ideal partner, the time you have is limited, stop wasting it!”
People need to grow up
According to this relationship expert, people need to develop emotional maturity and stop feeling offended by ghosting.
Jake continued: “A common phrase I hear is, ‘But I don’t want to hurt his feelings.’
“Listen, if he’s such a sensitive boy or girl that they can’t handle it when someone else doesn’t like him, then he’s not your ideal partner anyway.
“He’s not in his masculine energy. She is not in her feminine energy.
“And either way, they need to develop some emotional maturity.
“The majority of the people I coach are people pleasers.
“If you’re a people pleaser, you’ll find yourself in a lot of awful relationships because you don’t have the strength to say NO.”
Start saying no
Jake explains that people need to get brave and do what’s right for them.
The relationship expert added: “Life is a reflection of what we allow.
“High-quality people allow good things into their lives; low value people let in tons of garbage and therefore their life is waste.
“Stop saying yes to everything! Start saying no.
“If you can’t develop this skill, finding your ideal partner will be a very long, painful process.”
improve your life
Finally, Jake emphasizes the importance of seeing ghosting as a positive, as it can greatly improve your life.
Jake concluded, “After all, you don’t owe that person anything.
“You went on a date with them. That doesn’t promise anything anymore.
“The dating process is about you as an individual finding your ideal partner.
“Don’t see ghosting as negative, it’s positive.
“There are a lot of people in your life that you should probably ghost right now, like your bad friend, your toxic ex, your unhealthy relative.
“Haunt them all and find and create relationships that actually improve your life.”